Thursday, March 29, 2012

I am become death the destroyer of flies

For those among you who have no lived in a rural area where trash is disposed of in giant piles that are then burned, poop rests in troughs and slowly becomes a writhing mass of maggots, and livestock droppings litter the landscape, you have no idea how prolific and terrifying swarms of flies can become. They buzz around a lot normally, and there are always about ten or so that will sneak into my room over the course of the day, and having them hover around during meals become commonplace.

Today, in my haste to grab flags from my room for flag football, I made the rookie mistake of not completely closing my door, and the enemy took advantage of that thirty second lapse. When I returned to my room after football and dinner, things were dire. But, with the experience that I'd gained over the past few weeks, I wielded my blue flyswatter in defense of my room (and all that is good and just). The battle raged on and on, but after chasing down the last crafty survivors, I swept up all the corpses that hadn't fallen behind my desk, and took stock of the enemy strength. Sixty two dead flies. (Yes, I counted). Which means that the total number of dead was much higher. Victory was sweet.

tl;dr I just killed sixty plus flies, and I'll be picking flies out of the places they fell for a long time.


  1. Nice work! (Both on the flies and the post.)

  2. That's kind of crazy impressive. Wow.

  3. Stupendous! I couldn't be more proud. A person can never have too much speed, stealth, and lethalness of aim. When you get back home, you'll find the local horse, mule, llama, ostrich, peacock, camel, goat, and chicken flies, otherwise a distressing feature of July, laughable. In the meantime, you could also go passive/aggressive with flystrips....there's something deeply satisfying about a flystrip covered in dead ones. Until you run into it with your head, alas.

  4. Wow! I am so impressed. (Both on the flies and the post too!) I can recommend that sticky paper stuff, but the chemical pesticide fly strips are scary if you read the directions. They do work, but you aren't supposed to be around them, they need open air. We did once have a fly swarm in our garage and garden. I bought the chemical ones and read the warnings - scary. We did hang them in the garage and those flies were dead w/in 24 hours.

    How was the school inspection?